Sitting this evening watching a sappy Hallmark movie with my daughters, I took in the three of us watching the movie and realized that what I've been trying to deny for the last 2-1/2 months; perhaps more truthfully the last almost 18 years is really and truly going to happen next Saturday. My youngest will be moving into her college dorm room and away from home for the very first time.
This is, of course, what we've worked toward for 18 years and it's what she's "supposed" to be doing now and I'm excited and happy for her to be starting a new chapter in her life. But, just because it's what is "right" doesn't make it easy.
The house simply won't be the same without her in it on a daily basis. All the little things that are her will be missing and it will be only my oldest daughter and me living day to day.
Sure, we'll be connected through all the modern technology devices and I'm extremely grateful to be living now when you can text and email and Skype but there will still be so much missing. The snippets of her day that she'd share as she passed through a room will be gone and it makes me so sad to know that this is just the beginning of her leaving for good one day.
I will do my best to put on a brave face when we say goodbye next week before I leave without her in the car but my heart will be breaking even while I know she's where she's supposed to be doing exactly what she's supposed to be doing.
People share their parenting tips and tell you their labor and delivery horror stories but nobody tells you how hard it is to let go and let them fly with the wings we've nurtured from the time they were born. Good thing probably. We might all decide to be childless if we knew how much our hearts will break when we watch them fly.
