Ways to "De-Stress"

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In".

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Order a diet water, with a serious face, whenever you go out to eat.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go".

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital. Ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I won! I won!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! They're loose!"

19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of your go."

20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity...

Share this with someone to make them smile!

Enjoy your stress-free day!

Three Bullets

There once was a man who had nothing for his family to eat.

He had an old rifle and three bullets. So, he decided that he would go out hunting and kill some wild game for dinner.

As he went down the road, he saw a rabbit. He shot at the rabbit and missed it. The rabbit ran away.

Then he saw a squirrel and fired a shot at the squirrel and missed it. The squirrel disappeared into a hole in a cottonwood tree.

As he went further, he saw a large wild 'Tom' turkey in the tree, but he had only one bullet remaining.

A voice spoke to him and said, "Pray first, aim high and stay focused."

However, at the same time, he saw a deer which was a better kill.

He brought the gun down and aimed at the deer. But, then he saw a rattlesnake between his legs about to bite him, so he naturally brought the gun down further to shoot the rattlesnake.

Still, the voice said again to him, "I said 'Pray, aim high and stay focused.'"

So, the man decided to listen to God's voice.

He prayed, then aimed the gun high up in the tree and shot the wild turkey.

The bullet passed through the turkey and killed the deer.

The handle fell off the gun and hit the snake in the head and killed it.

And, when the gun had gone off, it knocked him into a pond.

When he stood up to look around, he had fish in all his pockets, a dead deer and a turkey to eat for his family.

The snake (Satan) was dead simply because the man listened to God.

Moral of the story:

Pray first before you do anything, aim and shoot high in your goals, and stay focused on God.

Never let others discourage you concerning your past. The past is exactly that, the past.

Live every day one day at a time and remember that only God knows our future and that God will not put you through anymore than you can bear.

Do not look to man for your blessings, but look to the doors that only God has prepared in advance for you in your favor.

Wait, be still and patient: keep God first and everything else will follow.


Here's to a stress-free holiday season remembering why we celebrate in the first place.

Something to Think About

There was a man who attended the same church as my daughters and I do. He was a “poor sort”, if you will and was often sitting alone near the front of the church. Every week, at least once and usually several times, he’d stand up, turn around and then sit back down. There is a clock in the back of our church and I always figured he was standing to check the time.

A few weeks ago, he passed away leaving no family behind and during the following Sunday’s church service, the pastor honored this man’s life. He mentioned how he’d always stand up during the service but instead of assuming, as I had, that he was checking the clock, he suggested that he was looking for Jesus as it’s been said He may show up anywhere. What a nicer thought than mine!

So, may we all keep looking for Jesus; particularly as we await the celebration of his birth and may we live as he would want us to so that if and when we finally meet him, he looks favorably upon us.


Have a wonderfully stress-free day!