Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Christmas Stress

Christmas is supposed to be a joyous season so then why is there so much stress associated with it?

Part of it, of course, is wanting the holiday to be memorable and keeping up with all the family traditions.

Then there's the shopping. Less money, less shopping, less happiness? You would certainly hope not and yet there's so much pressure to buy, buy, buy that it's especially stressful if money isn't abundant. And, for whom is money abundant in our struggling economy?

In our house this year, part of the stress is wondering whether our family will be together for Christmas Day. We keep hoping that all members will be present (no pun intended!) and accounted for but, a mere 4 days before the "Big" day, we are not sure how many to expect.

My oldest daughter, in her childlike innocence (thanks to her Down syndrome), reasons that when she doesn't hear from her buddy by text he's working hard to get everything finished where he is so he can travel to us. O, please, let her naivety be rewarded!

Whatever is causing stress in your holiday preparations, I hope that when the big day arrives, we can all relax, enjoy family and friends and remember why we celebrate the season in the first place.

Merry Stress-free Christmas to all!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Back to School

August 1st hits and with it the realization that school starts soon. I. Hate. It.
Ugh! I really don’t like when school starts and my kids are forced back into that homework-going-to-bed-early grind of the school year. I much prefer the comparatively lazy days of summer.

Granted, as the girls got older, there were more schedules in our summer than when they were pre-schoolers but even with their various sporting events which made us stick to a schedule throughout the summer months, it was much more relaxed than during the school year.

I’m one of only a few moms I know who actually enjoy their kids being home. I like hearing them in the house and running out the door (and back in again sometimes within 5 minutes). I like having them underfoot and, while other mothers are counting down the days till school starts, I start counting the days till the end of school on the very first day.

My youngest is a senior in high school this year and, after all the summer breaks we’ve shared, I am fortunate not to have heard “I’m bored” hundreds of times throughout the summer. I haven’t heard that phrase from either of my kids more than a handful of times. Seriously.

And, it’s not cause we go on countless vacations throughout the summer. They don’t attend one camp after another after another. Actually, our summer “entertainment”, if you will, consists mostly of afternoons spent at the local swimming pool. We do get our money’s worth from the fee we pay to join the pool each summer but, I feel it’s money well spent when you can come away from a summer without having to hear how bored your kids are.

I’m fortunate that my kids have always been good at entertaining themselves. And we spent time together. They never sat in front of the TV for endless hours a day. They don’t while away the hours in front of a computer or playing video games. They read, they bike, they jump on the trampoline, they play with friends, they swim. And yes, they are happy kids. (Most of the time.)

So, every year when August rolls around, I dread that first day of school and, as the days whittle away, I wish more and more that summer could be endless and we could just continue in our summer pattern for at least a few more months.

However, I do have to say, I won’t miss the 90 plus days filled with humidity. So, I guess there is something to be said for fall. The weather.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Random Acts of Kindness

While mowing the yard at my house which I’m in danger of losing through sheriff’s sale and feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders, I had an hour or so to think about all the things that are weighing so heavily on my mind right now.
There are so many things going on which are stress-inducing and though I try to carry on as if everything is just hunky dory, it’s far from it and the stress of being, in essence, two people is really getting to me. With each passing day, it’s getting harder and harder to put on the public “I’m fine, thanks so much for asking” face when things really are far from fine.

Then, of course, there’s the guilt of taking off the public everything-is-fine-face when I get home cause my daughters are getting the brunt of that and that’s by no means fair to them. They didn’t cause the troubles I’m facing and they shouldn’t have to pay for them with my sour and unmotivated mood.

But, as I was thinking all of that, the thoughts of all the things my friends and neighbors have done for me over the past year also came into my mind. From the neighbor who brought her snow blower to my driveway and got rid of a foot of snow last December and then mowed my yard for me while I was on vacation so I wouldn’t have to face foot long grass upon my return to the neighbor who filled my gas can when we had yet another huge storm after the holidays and all the gas had been used for the snow blower and every random act in between. People are generous and kind and helpful and they do it without even thinking about it. To them, it’s just a few minutes in their day and doesn’t even really seem like anything. To me, it means more than I can ever tell them.

It’s proof that even when the world feels as if it’s crashing in around me (and, truthfully, sometimes I wouldn’t mind if it did), there are people who care and who are looking out for me without me even having to say a word.

It’s proof that God is good and he’s watching over me (us) and making sure that, just when I think I absolutely cannot go on one minute more, someone “saves” me and life goes on again for awhile.

I’m looking forward to the day (and I’m sure it’s coming some year) when my biggest stress is what to make for dinner (or better yet, which restaurant to GO to for dinner!) but, in the meantime, I’m very grateful to all those people who are watching out for me and helping me get through this very stressful time in my life a little less stressfully.

Here's hoping for all of you a stress-FREE day!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Breast vs. Bottle

Reading a new-mom friend's blog about breast feeding and the stress it induced for her and her newborn, reminded me of the stress I felt almost 22 years ago as I grappled with the breast vs. bottle decision.

Of course, everything I was reading was telling me that if I didn't breast feed, I'd be doing my precious baby a grave dis-service. But, I just couldn't bring myself to go that route because of circumstances that had completely turned me off to breast feeding when I was a teenager. (I think it best not to expand on that at this moment.) At any rate, from the time I found out I was pregnant, I agonized over the fact that I just wasn't comfortable with breast feeding. I was sure I was a terrible mom even before my baby had even been born.

At each doctor visit, I was asked for my decision and, for 7 months, I wouldn't admit to the doctor that I was going to bottle feed. I just knew that if I made that admission I'd get a long lecture about how I'd do my poor little unsuspecting baby life long damage.

Finally, in my 8th month, I 'fessed up and told them I'd be bottle feeding. How incredibly relieved was I when the doctor's only response was, "Okay, then this is the formula you want to use." Omigosh! Had I known it would be that easy, I'd have told them my very first visit and saved all those stressful months. Probably would've been better off for my unborn baby as well. A stressed out mom-to-be isn't a good thing, either, right?

Fortunately, both my baby girls were extremely healthy as bottle fed babies and, as far as I can see 21 and almost 17 years down the road, I didn't do them life long damage.

I was able to have a true bonding experience with them as I fed them; holding them close, talking to them and loving them while they drank from their bottles. And, isn't love what it's all about for babies?

I learned to go with my gut sometimes (most times?) and things will work out for the best. My babies benefitted from having a (somewhat) relaxed mommy instead of an uptight one dealing with a feeding option that just wasn't right for us.


Go with your gut, too. Especially if it's going to help you have a

Stress FREE day!

Monday, May 24, 2010

Today's Stress

FINANCES!

Not that that isn't a daily stress but some days it just catches up with me more than others and I can't imagine how I'll pay the next bill.

My insurance has changed and no longer covers prescriptions. Great! I used an inhaler daily. Notice the past tense. Cost with insurance coverage? $3.00. Praise the Lord. Cost without insurance coverage? Nearly $200!!! Nope. I can't afford that. Good grief, how in the world can anybody afford that? And yet, without it, there are times that I can barely breathe! So, how do I handle that stress? I scream, "I HATE being poor!" Because, we all know, that helps!

I just finished mowing half my yard. One of my favorite things in the whole wide world to do. Okay, not. But, now I have the added fun of trying, over the next couple hours, to breathe again. Here's hoping...

If I never post another thing, you might figure I lost the battle of finding my next breath. Hopefully, that isn't the case but it does add some stress to my already stressful life.

Here's wishing YOU a Stress-FREE day!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

For Good

This song from Wicked was sung tonight at my daughter's graduation celebration and there are so many people in my life it applies to. I'm sure in your lives as well.


I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you.

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend:
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you:

I have been changed for good

And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for

But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share

And none of it seems to matter anymore


Like a comet pulled, Like a ship blown
From orbit as it Off it's mooring
Passes a sun, like By a wind off the
A stream that meets Sea, like a seed
A boulder, half-way Dropped by a
Through the wood Bird in the wood

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better?

Because I knew you:
I have been changed for good.



Have a Stress-Free day!!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

The sparrow at Starbucks

It was chilly in Manhattan but warm inside the Starbucks shop on 51st
Street and Broadway, just a skip up from Times Square. Early November
weather in New York City holds only the slightest hint of the bitter
chill of late December and January, but it's enough to send the masses
crowding indoors to vie for available space and warmth.
For a musician, it's the most lucrative Starbucks location in the
world, I'm told, and consequently, the tips can be substantial if you
play your tunes right. Apparently, we were striking all the right
chords that night, because our basket was almost overflowing.
It was a fun, low-pressure gig - I was playing keyboard and singing
backup for my friend who also added rhythm with an arsenal of
percussion instruments. We mostly did pop songs from the '40s to the
'90s with a few original tunes thrown in. During our emotional
rendition of the classic, "If You Don't Know Me by Now," I noticed a
lady sitting in one of the lounge chairs across from me. She was
swaying to the beat and singing along.
After the tune was over, she approached me. "I apologize for singing
along on that song. Did it bother you?" she asked.
"No," I replied. "We love it when the audience joins in. Would you
like to sing up front on the next selection?"
To my delight, she accepted my invitation. "You choose," I said. "What
are you in the mood to sing?"
"Well. ... do you know any hymns?"
Hymns? This woman didn't know who she was dealing with. I cut my teeth
on hymns. Before I was even born, I was going to church. I gave our
guest singer a knowing look. "Name one."
"Oh, I don't know. There are so many good ones. You pick one."
"Okay," I replied. "How about 'His Eye is on the Sparrow'?"
My new friend was silent, her eyes averted. Then she fixed her eyes on
mine again and said, "Yeah. Let's do that one."
She slowly nodded her head, put down her purse, straightened her
jacket and faced the center of the shop. With my two-bar setup, she
began to sing.
"Why should I be discouraged?
Why should the shadows come?"
The audience of coffee drinkers was transfixed. Even the gurgling
noises of the cappuccino machine ceased as the employees stopped what
they were doing to listen. The song rose to its conclusion.
"I sing because I'm happy;
I sing because I'm free.
For His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me."
When the last note was sung, the applause crescendoed to a deafening
roar that would have rivaled a sold-out crowd at Carnegie Hall.
Embarrassed, the woman tried to shout over the din, "Oh, y'all go back
to your coffee! I didn't come in here to do a concert! I just came in
here to get somethin' to drink, just like you!" But the ovation
continued. I embraced my new friend. "You, my dear, have made my whole
year! That was beautiful!"
"Well, it's funny that you picked that particular hymn," she said.
"Why is that?"
"Well . .." she hesitated again, "that was my daughter's favorite song."
"Really!" I exclaimed.
"Yes," she said, and then grabbed my hands. By this time, the applause
had subsided and it was business as usual.. "She was 16. She died of a
brain tumor last week."
I said the first thing that found its way through my stunned silence.
"Are you going to be okay?"
She smiled through tear-filled eyes and squeezed my hands. "I'm gonna
be okay. I've just got to keep trusting the Lord and singing his
songs, and everything's gonna be just fine." She picked up her bag,
gave me her card, and then she was gone.
Was it just a coincidence that we happened to be singing in that
particular coffee shop on that particular November night? Coincidence
that this wonderful lady just happened to walk into that particular
shop? Coincidence that of all the hymns to choose from, I just
happened to pick the very hymn that was the favorite of her daughter,
who had died just the week before? I refuse to believe it.
God has been arranging encounters in human history since the beginning
of time, and it's no stretch for me to imagine that he could reach
into a coffee shop in midtown Manhattan and turn an ordinary gig into
a revival. It was a great reminder that if we keep trusting him and
singing his songs, everything's gonna be okay.
The next time you feel like GOD can't use YOU, just remember...

Noah was a drunk
Abraham was too old
Isaac was a daydreamer
Jacob was a liar
Leah was ugly
Joseph was abused
Moses had a stuttering problem
Gideon was afraid
Sampson had long hair and was a womanizer
Rahab was a prostitute
Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
David had an affair and was a murderer
Elijah was suicidal
Isaiah preached naked
Jonah ran from God
Naomi was a widow
Job went bankrupt
John the Baptist ate bugs
Peter denied Christ
The Disciples fell asleep while praying
Martha worried about everything
The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once
Zaccheus was too small
Paul was too religious
Timothy had an ulcer
Lazarus was dead!

No more excuses now!!
God can use you to your full potential. Besides you aren't the
message, you are just the messenger.

God bless

I got this in an email and there was no author credited but it was a pick me up for me and I hope for you as well.