While mowing the yard at my house which I’m in danger of losing through sheriff’s sale and feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders, I had an hour or so to think about all the things that are weighing so heavily on my mind right now.
There are so many things going on which are stress-inducing and though I try to carry on as if everything is just hunky dory, it’s far from it and the stress of being, in essence, two people is really getting to me. With each passing day, it’s getting harder and harder to put on the public “I’m fine, thanks so much for asking” face when things really are far from fine.
Then, of course, there’s the guilt of taking off the public everything-is-fine-face when I get home cause my daughters are getting the brunt of that and that’s by no means fair to them. They didn’t cause the troubles I’m facing and they shouldn’t have to pay for them with my sour and unmotivated mood.
But, as I was thinking all of that, the thoughts of all the things my friends and neighbors have done for me over the past year also came into my mind. From the neighbor who brought her snow blower to my driveway and got rid of a foot of snow last December and then mowed my yard for me while I was on vacation so I wouldn’t have to face foot long grass upon my return to the neighbor who filled my gas can when we had yet another huge storm after the holidays and all the gas had been used for the snow blower and every random act in between. People are generous and kind and helpful and they do it without even thinking about it. To them, it’s just a few minutes in their day and doesn’t even really seem like anything. To me, it means more than I can ever tell them.
It’s proof that even when the world feels as if it’s crashing in around me (and, truthfully, sometimes I wouldn’t mind if it did), there are people who care and who are looking out for me without me even having to say a word.
It’s proof that God is good and he’s watching over me (us) and making sure that, just when I think I absolutely cannot go on one minute more, someone “saves” me and life goes on again for awhile.
I’m looking forward to the day (and I’m sure it’s coming some year) when my biggest stress is what to make for dinner (or better yet, which restaurant to GO to for dinner!) but, in the meantime, I’m very grateful to all those people who are watching out for me and helping me get through this very stressful time in my life a little less stressfully.
Here's hoping for all of you a stress-FREE day!
